I had sex last night.


The horizontal dance
The x axsis mambo
Bumping uglys
Making babies
Rumble in the jungle 

Knocking boots
Getting pumped
Sucking dicks
Rumpy Pumpy on
The beast with two backs

A special cuddle
Havin a Snuggle
Getting Lucky with
Harry in Chamber of secrets
Knocking boots
Taking it up the harris

Winning a quick game of Tonsil Hockey
In a dark back room
Putting the
Zoom Zoom Zoom
In your
Boom Boom Boom

And today?
I’ve got a spring in my step
At 100%
Beating the shit outa both batman and Harvy Dent
Carpe fucking diem
This day’s getting fucking met

Like a hangover cure
Like Glass bottles of bru
Like a pat on the back
“Nice one.”
But it’s not like that for everyone

Some have it ruined
Some meet it to early
I was 18 when I lost my virginity
And thank fuck for that.
Don’t get me wrong
It wasn’t a decision
It wasn’t for a lack of trying …
But I’m happy that sex was something I met properly as an adult
You’ve got your whole life to get fucked about

Imagine your first sexual experience was rape
Imagine that was carried with you on every first date
On every second base
Like a fist fighter in an arms race
Tinted windows on your life that make everything grey
That’s something some people have to live with daily,

I don’t know,
It’s not something we really talk about
I guess it makes people uneasy

But if you’d been mugged
Would you think twice about reciting that story?
No, cause there’s no shame in getting mugged

Why do we feel shame from an act of violence?
Forget the bad ones
Forget the cunts
Forget anyone who’s not looking for love

If you still want to be embarrassed by sex or boobs or willies or bums
Go ahead but please don’t feel like you have to sit in silence
Get uncomfortable about acts of violence
Cause that’s what it is
Not love
Not sex

Not something that’s deserved
But something that’s inflicted
It’s a problem we’ve got
And it’s time we fucking fixed it.


One thought on “I had sex last night.

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