60 hours, sleep

These roads are new,
New to me.
The kind of roads you only see
In the real early afternoons,
The kind of roads you only see coming home.

After flat warming’s look warm receptions,
After long nights in square rooms
With a mattress made of concrete,
these are new to me.

It’s the first & last,
Getting out or coming back.
It’s a full pack with a clipper
Home on an arms rest

Reality’s en route
For the longest walk.
And I’ve missed more
mornings than an alcoholic,
But the sun shines brightest
When it’s coming off the rain


Don’t Try

Good writing should take it out you
It doesn’t flow
It drools like cum out an old mans mouth
Sit down you stupid cunt
Stop looking in the mirror
Stop googling a pristine replica of a 1970’s typewriter
You are googling a typewriter on a fucking typewriter
You have everything you need
If you never move again
If you sit in that seat with a paper and pencil
If you spend the rest of your life on the circle line
An infinity loop that’s never crossed
Until you die.
Writers block is for cunts and halfwits
Have you ever considered that you’re just shit?

Well so am I.
So is everyone.
There are no geniuses,
There is no god.

There’s no divine lightning bolt
You’re gonna wait for that?
Why don’t you get out in the rain
And fly a kite then you dumb cunt?
Cause that’s not the Key
That’s just a waste of your precious time
We’ll all be dead soon
90% of your material will be will be worthless
If you don’t throw 90% of your material in the fire
Then at least then you’ll be warm

It sure as fuck won’t pay for the lecky
And I wouldn’t fucking ask it to.

Fuck That

Your girl’s class
Not like this bitch
Lying beside me
Your girls got a wide back
Your girls got all that surgery
Your girl comes with soft hair
Your girl comes without
Your girl comes in every colour
Your girl comes any time you fucking want it
I used to be a feminist
But what’s in it for me?

Your girls got bunny ears
Your girls got sex 
Your girl goes the way you want it
The way every cunt wants it
Your girls young
Your girls joy
Your girls not sophisticated
Your girls simple
Your girls next door
Your girls gone home
Your girls blown her brains out willingly
Your girls empty 
Your girls hollow
Your girls got the wrong number of opinions
And the right number of holes 
Your girls broken her back from bending double
Your girl don’t walk so good no more
Your girls gonna hold the pose
Your girls position is prone 
Your girls the latest model 
Your girls plastic
Your girls cellophane 
Your girls forced
Your girls running for the mould
Your girl runs nothing 
Your girls gotta stay away from open flames 
Your girl stays out the cupboards and in the gym
Your girls looked through like a sticky magazine
Your girl gets rapped round sandwiches and old soup

“She is naked, 
well washed with soap and water,
and she is happy”

I had sex last night.


The horizontal dance
The x axsis mambo
Bumping uglys
Making babies
Rumble in the jungle 

Knocking boots
Getting pumped
Sucking dicks
Rumpy Pumpy on
The beast with two backs

A special cuddle
Havin a Snuggle
Getting Lucky with
Harry in Chamber of secrets
Knocking boots
Taking it up the harris

Winning a quick game of Tonsil Hockey
In a dark back room
Putting the
Zoom Zoom Zoom
In your
Boom Boom Boom

And today?
I’ve got a spring in my step
At 100%
Beating the shit outa both batman and Harvy Dent
Carpe fucking diem
This day’s getting fucking met

Like a hangover cure
Like Glass bottles of bru
Like a pat on the back
“Nice one.”
But it’s not like that for everyone

Some have it ruined
Some meet it to early
I was 18 when I lost my virginity
And thank fuck for that.
Don’t get me wrong
It wasn’t a decision
It wasn’t for a lack of trying …
But I’m happy that sex was something I met properly as an adult
You’ve got your whole life to get fucked about

Imagine your first sexual experience was rape
Imagine that was carried with you on every first date
On every second base
Like a fist fighter in an arms race
Tinted windows on your life that make everything grey
That’s something some people have to live with daily,

I don’t know,
It’s not something we really talk about
I guess it makes people uneasy

But if you’d been mugged
Would you think twice about reciting that story?
No, cause there’s no shame in getting mugged

Why do we feel shame from an act of violence?
Forget the bad ones
Forget the cunts
Forget anyone who’s not looking for love

If you still want to be embarrassed by sex or boobs or willies or bums
Go ahead but please don’t feel like you have to sit in silence
Get uncomfortable about acts of violence
Cause that’s what it is
Not love
Not sex

Not something that’s deserved
But something that’s inflicted
It’s a problem we’ve got
And it’s time we fucking fixed it.

Isn’t Poetry Just Shit

Not yours specifically, just in general
Isn’t poetry just shit?
Nice rhyming scheme, but fuck all potential
Thoughts just not going in or around it

And I’ll repeat this line to make it seem more important.

Counting syllables, forgetting parables
Rhyming dictionary dot com
The open mic night, isn’t the only example
Shouldn’t there be a meaning to a story or song?

And I’ll repeat this line to make it seem more important.

If you think it’s bad you don’t know the half of it
At least you can’t hear all his spelling mistakes,
Friends are too gentle to tell him he’s shit,
Friends are to genital to put on the breaks.
And I’ll repeat this line to make it seem more important.
And sad thing is, it’s really that easy.
Just speak with confidence, and follow these rules,
Google a rhyming scheme, buy a thesaurus.
Don’t think too much, try hard – you can’t lose.
Drone on and on, in a boring monotone
What’s the fucking point.
Bla Bla Bla blablaBLABLABLA BLA

And I’ll repeat this line to make it seem more important.
Don’t worry about the tenses
When he said him, do I really mean me?
It’ll just make it all seem a little bit mysterious
And it’s a lot fucking easier than writing it properly.
Mine up the emotion from a terrorist’s crimes
Protests in Palestine, cause you’re right there with em’
But really you’re just happy with alliteration that rhymes. 

And I’ll repeat this line to make it seem more important.

Ramp up the tension, pretend to be angry
Stare down the crowd as the tempo’s increased
Stamp down my feet; throw my arms up beside me
But I’ve not got a real message, just a top shop degree.

And I’ll repeat this line to make it seem more important.

Limited brain capacity ain’t the only thing that’s stopping me.
Never won a fight and I’ve never been lifted
Least Ann Frank had a motive for a diary 
Might be my problems are all self-inflicted

And I’ll repeat this line to make it seem more important. 

Everything we’ve covered was someone else’s invention
Everything you ever did was a just copyright breach
Make sure you say cunt, cause they’ll think that you’re edgy
Make sure that you pause. so you “let the piece breathe”

And I’ll repeat this line to make it seem more important.

 Slow down at the last verse.
Throw in, some commas,
It’s just a cheap trick
No conclusions been reached 

And I’ll repeat this line to make it seem more important.
And I’ll repeat this line, to make it seem more important.
And I’ll repeat this line, to make it seem, more important.


Lean back, bend your knees
Listen to him, do what he says
Better lose your pride cos you can’t stand tall
Nothing but the dance floor to break your fall

Glass machine
Filled then empty

First time round, things are going easy
One small stack of glasses and a torch so you can see
I can’t believe that guy, he’s too drunk already
But its just past 12, starts to get busy

Glass machine
Filled then empty

Second time round starts getting heavy
How the fuck has the bar nearly ran out already
Mops in the cupboard, he’s got the key Into the toilet and clean up the whitey

Glass machine
Filled then empty

Broken Glass on the floor that’s your responsibility
Calm down man I didn’t mean to knock ye
And I wouldn’t be standing here if you could handle the challenge
Of not acting like a cunt who’s got two left hands

Glass machine
Filled then empty

Why don’t you just put it on the table?
Or on the end of the bar? In fact better still
Just don’t drop them on the floor then drunkenly dance around me
Yes that was my face that just connected with your knee

Glass machine
Filled then empty

Third time round, gets a little crazy
But I’m ignoring the things that are starting to get to me
Like that strobe light that makes it impossible to see!
Shouldn’t that be health and safety? Why the fuck are they even in here?!

Glass machine
Filled then empty

Don’t forget the back bar singles are going steady
Two empty pints with ice they’re for the DJ
I wish these student pricks would just stop drinking already
Why the fuck are the booze only 1.50 on a Tuesday?!

Glass machine
Filled then empty

But the best advantage is that time passes quickly
It’s quieting down the nights nearly all ended
We’ve sold all the drunks drinks now the drinks have been drunk
But it’s been some fucking job picking them up
Listening to techno and watching students take ecstasy
I’ll get home at half 4 and sleep like a baby

Glass machine
Emptied it’s over.

But even with heat and the noise and the pressure
I’m telling you still it’s a thousand times better
Than working in a call centre, for House of Fraser.



Due to government crackdowns
It’s too difficult to get the correct chemicals required to make safe ecstasy
And the Para-Methoxyamphetamine scene is really dying on its arse lately
That’s one of the substitutes in shit pills that can kill ye
It’s not MDMA, the key ingredient in ecstasy
Para-Methoxyamphetamine makes your temperature rise, rapidly.
It doesn’t produce a euphoric effect
You need a massive fucking dose
Crammed right down fucking your neck
Slow acting at the start so they often take it again
Having one, then another is a common misconception
Agitation, confusion and convulsions
Been known to lead to heart attacks
And death if you don’t stop em’
Have I got your medical attention?

Take the production line out of the hands of idiotic delinquents
Who think a Rolex is somehow still culturally fucking relevant.
The best pills now are stamped with big brands
No-one eats Mitsubishi’s or love heart shaped sweets
They want Facebooks and Sponge Bobs and Dr. Dre Beats.
He might make fucking shite headphones
But his ectos are sweet.

Don’t Eat the Green Swedge

Ever kept a pill because you thought the stamp was cool?
Ecstasy’s culture you can’t talk about in schools
Even though this education could save lives
With this education Leah Betts would have survived
She drank 7 litres, 90 minutes, 1995.
No one ever said one pint an hour is more than enough
Don’t leave your friends once you’ve got inside the club
No one ever told her the truth
Just made her terrified so she’d avoid it
Then used her death to terrify the next generation
How’s that working out for ya?
Water under the bridge
Water boarding kids
Decoded message from Betts
The governments fucking dangerous
But the blames not on MP’s for lack of action,
They told her Ecstasy dehydrates you and it fucking does dammit.
Why haven’t they been branded as bad, fucked or evil?How many more can the government kill
Before they make this non-addictive substance legal? 

Don’t Eat the Green Swedge

Just one pill could kill you, even the first one
But the boys don’t believe you cos they’re eating fucking loads of them
Kids aren’t stupid, no wonder they don’t trust you
Mixed messages make messages a little fucking see through
Drugs are bad
All drugs have horrible negative side effects
Drugs should not be taken under any circumstances
(not including caffeine, alcohol and tobacco)
Drugs are the devil.

Don’t Eat the Green Swedge

The Daily Mail thinks kids
“Have a far to laid back attitude towards party drugs
Like ketamine and MDMA,
Not realising how dangerous those party drugs can be.”
Well you should probably stop calling them party drugs then, shouldn’t you?
You fucking idiots.
But the blames not on the Daily Mail
Cos they’ve informed the public
That large amounts of drugs can be dangerous
That’s another tally on the lives saved today list
Don’t Eat the Green Swedge

Have I made you fucking terrified yet?

Don’t Eat the Green Swedge

And as always I am open to suggestions
Can you think of a better way to fix the problem?
It’s a part of our culture; you won’t stop them taking them
Scare tactics pop up after media attention?
Being condescending to young adults is totally out of the question 

But Don’t Eat the Greeeen Swedge

How can you test that what you’re eating is really what you’re eating?
We need to do something soon because people are dying
They’ve been dying for the last 30 years
And we’ve still not changed our tactics
The powers in the hands of the dance floor bandits

Think of all the things laws brings with them
Quality control with government regulations
Some statistics and data on the rates of consumption
Scientific study and with limits and then age restriction
Then tax it and use the money for drug education
You can stop scaring people, because it’s not fucking working
Eliminate the opportunity for criminal intervention
Not even touching on the organised drug mule and trafficking system
Different strength tablets depending on the person
A non-addictive alternative to the alcohol problem
To many fucking advantages to list them

Without the bullets this gun isn’t lethal
Time to make this non-addictive substance legal.